These are some funny jokes but think of the answer before you look at it ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What time is it when you have to go the dentist? Tooth Hurty! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Who likes to drink cocoa? A Cocoanut! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What did one eye say to the other eye? Between you and me, something smells. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What did the teacher say when it rained cats and dogs? Be careful not to step on a poodle! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What is even smarter than a talking bird? A Spelling Bee! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Who is the greatest underwater spy? James POND! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What sickness does a martial artist have? Kung FLU! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What happens if you take a one hundred foot dive into a glass of gingerale? Nothing! It's a SOFT drink! Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What kind of a storm is always in a rush? A Hurry Cain! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Why are there gates around graveyards? Because everybody is DYING to get in! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What do you get if you mix a car, a fly, and a dog? A flying carpet! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What lies on the bottom of the ocean and shakes? A nervous wreck! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ How did the telephone propose to the lady? It gave her a ring! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What pet does everyone have? An Armpet! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What did the nut say when it sneezed? "Cashew"! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What table can we eat? A vegeTABLE! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Which is faster: Hot or Cold? Hot, 'cause you can catch a cold! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Why did the man with one hand cross the road? To get to the second-hand shop! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Why does "A" look like a flower? Because "B" follows it! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Why did the boy tiptoe towards the medicine cabinet? Because he didn't want to wake the sleeping pills! What did Cinderella say to the photographer? I want my "prints" back! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What is a cannibal's favourite game? Swallow the Leader! Why couldn't the teddy bear eat his dessert? He was stuffed! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What does a farmer use to count his cattle? A COWculator! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Why didn't the skeleton dance? Because he had no body to dance with!  ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Who won when the two waves raced? They tide! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Why did the boy put lipstick on his head? Because he wanted to make up his mind! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What happened to the dog that swallowed a watch? It got ticks! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Who is the ruler of the beach? The Sand-witch! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize? Because he was out standing in his field! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Which cat would you never play poker with? A Cheetah! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Why did the kid cross the park? To get to the other slide! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Why couldn't the pirates play cards? Because the captain was sitting on the deck! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What do you get when you a cross a vampire with a snowman? Frostbite! What do you call a fish without eyes? A fsh! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Why did the child bring his dad to school? 'Cause he had a POP quiz! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ When a duck has no money, what does it tell the waiter? "Put it on my bill!" ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Why doesn't Dracula have friends? 'Cause he's a pain in the neck! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. It just waved! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Why was the baby ant confused? Because all of his uncles were ants! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Why can't a nose be twelve inches long? Because then it'd be a foot! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ When is a door not a door? When it's aJAR! Why do people carry umbrellas? Because umbrellas can't walk! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Why do sharks swim in salt water? Because pepper water makes them sneeze! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What is in a ghost's nose? BOO-gers! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What did the man say when the church burnt down? Holy Smoke! Why can't you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? Because a wooden leg is not made like a camera! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Why can't you tell jokes to an egg? Because it will crack up! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Why didn't the third grader go the pirate movie? Because it was rated "ARRR"! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What has wheels and flies? A garbage truck! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Why did the grizzly put on pyjamas? Because he was bear naked! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What gives you the power to walk through walls? A door! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Why was the cucumber mad? Because it was in a pickle! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Why did the bubblegum cross the road? Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Why was the broom late for work? Because it over-swept! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What room has no walls? A mushroom! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Who was the best dancer at the monster dance? The boogie man! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What did the mayonnaise say to the fridge? Close the door, I'm dressing! What would the U.S. be called if everyone in it drove pink cars? A pink car-nation! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Why was the ketchup last in the race? It couldn't ketch-up! Why did the cabbage win the race? Because it was a-head! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What did the fridge say to the mayonnaise? Don't come in, I've got a cold! Why did the famous movie stars go to the river? They wanted to give out some otter-graphs! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Where do you leave your dog while you shop? In a barking lot! What would the U.S. be called if everyone in it lived in their cars? An in-car-nation! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What would the U.S. be called if everyone in it lived in their cars? A re-in-car-nation! How does the biologist like to communicate? With his cell phone! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ When do parents complain because of eye pain? When they have their eye on you! What's brown and sticky? A stick! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Why did Superman cross the road? To get to the supermarket! 

What did the football coach say to the banker? I want my quarter back! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? 'Cause he didn't have the guts!

What's green and sings? Elvis Parsley! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________